THE SIAMESE CAT

“The Adventure Begins”

Written by

Derek Miner

And

Dale Pople

 

 

 

                                SECOND DRAFT

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


THE SIAMESE CAT

“The Adventure Begins”

 

TEASER

 

FADE IN:

 

On an OLD FASHIONED TELEVISION SCREEN:

 

INT. WAREHOUSE – PRESUMABLY DAYTIME

 

The scene is black & white. A beautiful blonde, appropriately named LOVELY, is tied to a chair, flanked by three

EVIL HENCHMAN. (Yeah, it’s in black & white, but we can tell that she would be blonde were this in COLOR.)

 

The leader of the evil guys, ZOLAR, has a Fu Manchu moustache and a mean disposition. He is pacing around cackling like evil masterminds often do.

 

            ZOLAR

Yes, my Lovely, you will be witness to the beginning of a new era. The reign of Zolar is set to begin!

       (to henchman)

Bob! Is the Atomic Particle Impaler ready?

 

A schlumpy henchman schlumps over to some boxes in the corner. He pulls away a panel to reveal a large mechanical device with old sci-fi lights and switches.

 

There is a large sign reading:

ATOMIC PARTICLE IMPLODER IMPALER

 

           BOB

       (affirmative)

Uh-huh

 

            ZOLAR

How many times have I told you, call me SIR?!

 

            BOB

Uh-huh… uh, sir.

 

            LOVELY

You’ll never get away with this! Super Hero will stop you!

 

            ZOLAR

Ha! Don’t you know, we outnumber him four to one!

 

                                           CUT TO:

 

EXT. FAUX SKY – DAY

 

Super Hero is en route via the traditional superhero method of flight. Of course, it looks a lot like a guy lying on a platform pretending to fly with a wind machine blowing in his face.

 

                                       CUT BACK TO:

 

INT. WAREHOUSE – PRESUMABLY DAYTIME

 

Henchman Bob is about to throw a switch on the Atomic Particle Impaler when everyone’s attention is drawn to a loud SWOOSH at the window. (Yes, an open window in a warehouse, go figure.)

 

Super Hero lands on his feet, hands on his hips, George Reeves-style.

 

            HENCHMEN

       (in unison)

SUPER HERO!

 

The henchmen pull out their standard issue handguns and fire at Super Hero. Ho-hum – the bullets bounce off his puffed-out chest like ping-pong balls off a table.

 

Super Hero takes out the henchmen in a ridiculously easy way. He essentially knocks them out with a SWING of his arm in their direction.

 

Zolar stands off to the side watching the fight, bobbing from side to side, basking in his evil shenanigans.

 

Super Hero takes out the last henchman and turns his attention to Zolar.

 

            ZOLAR

Ah ha! You can’t resist THIS!

 

ANGLE ON ZOLAR’S BACK:

 

Zolar pulls something from his coat, but we can’t see it yet.

 

Lovely looks at Zolar, perplexed.

 

From Super Hero’s POV, we see that Zolar is holding a STRING OF GARLIC CLOVES at arms length.

 

Super Hero grabs the garlic away as he laughs.

 

            SUPER HERO

You fool, garlic is here to protect us against vampires!

 

Super Hero raises his arm. Zolar shrinks in fear, and the scene FADES OUT with a DRAMATIC MUSIC STING.

 

But almost immediately, we hear a loud, mechanical KA-CHUNG! As the lights come back on, we see the same scene in living color.

 

            DIRECTOR

CUT!

 

INT. TELEVISION STUDIO – DAY

 

Directly opposite the scene we just watched - it’s a studio full of CREWMEN, LIGHTS and CAMERAS.

 

REVERSE ANGLE ON:

 

The warehouse was just a set for the Super Hero TV show. We can now see it in a wide shot, with LIGHTS and CABLES and other STUDIO JUNK. Super Hero is maintaining his pose, holding Zolar by the collar, arm raised, ready to strike.

 

            SUPER HERO

How was that, Raoul?

 

Super Hero lets go of Zolar, who promptly falls to the ground with a THUD. With the newly free hand, he begins primping.

 

            SUPER HERO

       (continued)

Did you get my good side?

 

The director heads on to the set.

 

            DIRECTOR

Yes, yes, yes. Of course sir.

       (looks at his clipboard)

We are finished for tonight, and tomorrow we’ll pick up with scene 12A.

 

As Raoul and Super Hero leave the set, they walk past ERIC DEXTER, a janitor sweeping up by the craft services table (you know, the food table). Eric watches Super Hero with unflappable admiration.

 

            SUPER HERO

Excellent! Now, if you will excuse me, I have work to do.

 

Eric sheepishly steps up to offer praise.

 

            ERIC

Wow, sir, you were great in that scene…

 

Super Hero pats Eric’s shoulder.

 

            SUPER HERO

Just doing my job, son. Keep up the good work!

 

Super Hero throws open the studio doors to reveal a throng of reporters waiting for him in the lobby.

 

Eric leans on his mop handle dreamily and watches Super Hero walk proudly through the media blitz.

 

            DIRECTOR

ERIC!!

 

Eric is startled and goes back to mopping the floor.

 

BLACKOUT.

 

END OF TEASER

 

OPENING CREDITS.

 


 

ACT ONE

 

INT. STUDIO LOCKER ROOM – AFTERNOON

 

Eric removes his janitor overalls and hangs them up in his locker.

 

ANGLE ON:

 

Something on the top shelf of his locker that looks like a HANDHELD GAME. It is shaped like the silhouette of a cat’s head with pointy ears and whiskers. It’s Eric’s “Cat Scanner.” The readout says “ALERT.” However, Eric doesn’t notice this and shuts his locker door without picking it up.

 

INT. STUDIO LOBBY – DUSK

 

There is a large reception desk in the lobby with a sign above it reading BANCROFT STUDIOS. Behind the desk is CAROL BANCROFT, the pretty young daughter of the studio’s owner.

 

Eric comes into the lobby through giant double doors that dwarf him completely.

 

            CAROL

Good evening, Eric.

 

            ERIC

Hi, Carol.

 

            CAROL

Hey, are you busy tomorrow night?

 

            ERIC

Um… no, I don’t think so. Why?

 

            CAROL

Well, my father is having a party for the investors, and I thought you might like to come with me.

 

            ERIC

A big fancy party for people with money? Wouldn’t you rather show up with one of the guys from the sales department? They have three-piece suits and everything. I don’t know if I’d fit in.

 

            CAROL

Aw, c’mon. You seem a bit down lately. I thought it would cheer you up.

 

 

            ERIC

I dunno, Carol. I’m just a janitor. I can just see it now. Your father would say, “And over here is the head Janitor, Eric Dexter. By the way, Eric, could you please get the mop and that pink stuff. One of our important investors has spilled his champagne.”

 

            CAROL

Who cares? I know you’re better than that. You know that, too, Eric.

       (dangling a carrot)

Super Hero will be there…

 

            ERIC

Should I?

 

            CAROL

Absolutely!

 

            ERIC

Okay, then, sure.

 

INT. ERIC’S APARTMENT – EVENING

 

Eric enters his meager apartment and plops his keys on the table by the door. He moves over to the answering machine and pushes the button.

 

            ANSWERING MACHINE

You. Have. One. Message.

 

The machine beeps and a dry, nasal voice takes over.

 

            NASAL VOICE

Yes, Mr. Dexter, I’m calling from Central Power and Light. Our records indicate that your bill is ten days overdue. If we do not receive payment by the end of this week, we will have to disconnect your service. Have a nice day.

 

As the message plays, Eric pours a bowl of milk and sets it down on the floor of his kitchen. His faithful and finicky Siamese cat enters and begins sipping.

 

            ERIC

There you go… drink up. I have work to do.

 

 

INT. ERIC’S BEDROOM – EVENING

 

Inside Eric’s closet, he struggles to open the door of a second-hand ROLL-TOP DESK. Inside, he has hidden a couple nicely folded suits for his own Secret Identity.

 

MONTAGE:

 

Eric puts his suit on in a series of quick-cut close-ups much like in the BATMAN movies.

 

INT. ERIC’S APARTMENT – KITCHEN – EVENING

 

To the accompaniment a heroic musical sting, Eric’s cat looks up to THE SIAMESE CAT before him.

 

            CAT

Hey, Kitty.

 

The Cat looks left, looks right, and then looks puzzled.

 

            CAT

       (to the real cat)

You haven’t seen my Cat Scanner, have you?

 

ANOTHER MONTAGE:

 

A series of scenes where The Cat looks for his Cat Scanner in increasingly more improbable places.

 

When he gets to the pantry in his kitchen, he reaches for the top shelf and then has a revelation.

 

He slaps his forehead as he remembers where he left the scanner.

 

                            CUT TO:

 

INT. STUDIO LOCKER ROOM – NIGHT

 

The Cat opens his locker and reaches up to the top shelf for the Cat Scanner.

 

He looks at the panel and notices the “alert.”

 

All of the sudden, there is a CLANG from outside the locker room. The Cat follows the sound out the door.

 

INT. STUDIO HALLWAY – NIGHT

 

Another CLANG!

 

The Cat turns and sees the sound is coming from the METEOROLOGY department. (We know this because there is a sign, of course.)

 

Glancing through the doorway, The Cat sees some COSTUMED CHARACTERS snooping around with flashlights. They’re dressed in BLACK SPANDEX SUITS with front POUCHES and silly COSTUME HEADS.

 

            CAT

       (to himself)

What the…?

 

INT. METEOROLOGY DEPARTMENT – NIGHT

 

The snoopers in silly suits are busy reading some instruction manual when they are interrupted by…

 

            CAT

Excuse me… what are you supposed to be?

 

The snoopers are startled and look up. Two of them start to cringe and cling to the third.

 

            OPOSSUM #3

Hey! There’s three of us and one of him!

 

Suddenly, the snoopers launch into attack mode and jump toward The Cat.

 

A FIGHT ensues. Not an ordinary fisticuffs scene, but a STORYBOARD fight. We see the beats of the brawl rendered in COMIC BOOK STYLE PANELS, complete with exaggerated verbal SOUND EFFECTS, such as WHAM, BUMP and KER-POWW! This is accompanied by a 60s-style jazzy score (like the Marketts’ music from the “Batman” series).

 

But as the fight comes to end, we see that the Henchmen have overtaken the Cat and tied him to a ROLLING CHAIR.

 

Then we hear…

 

            A LISPING VOICE

Good work, my children!

 

From the dark recesses of the next room we can make out the silhouette of THE OPOSSUM, the leader of the gang.

 

            OPOSSUM

Behold interloper, and cringe at the sight of…

       (steps out of shadow)

The Possum!

 

Now in the light, we can see The Opossum’s outfit is very cheap looking. Like those of the henchmen, his costume head doesn’t even hide the fact that there’s a man underneath.

Below the human chin, amidst the fake fur, is an obvious (and ridiculously large) ZIPPER.

 

            CAT

Isn’t that “O-possum?”

 

            OPOSSUM

NO!

       (overdramatic pause)

I refuse to acknowledge the existence of a silent “O”!

 

            HENCHMAN #2

Both are accepted pronunciations!

 

            OPOSSUM

Silence!

       (to The Cat)

Who dares question The Possum?

 

            CAT

The Siamese Cat. What are you doing here in the weather room?

 

            OPOSSUM

Since you are doomed anyway I will tell you! Soon my possum children and I shall have control of this studio’s weather satellite!

           

            CAT

What do you want with a weather satellite?

 

The Opossum launches into a passioned speech, underscored by a dramatic, rising MUSIC THEME.

 

            OPOSSUM

You silly fool! With a weather satellite at my disposal, I shall have complete control over the Earth’s atmosphere! I will make the sky so cloudy as to throw the Earth into total darkness! Then I and my Nocturnal brothers may rule the planet twenty-four hours a day!

 

The speech concludes with a BOLD FANFARE, which fades quickly into SILENCE accompanied by the blank stare of The Cat.

 

            CAT

You do realize a weather satellite only reports the w-

 

            OPOSSUM

       (interrupting)

Silence day dweller! Your ruse will not work on me! As soon as my minions have mastered this equipment, I shall plunge the world into CHOZ!

      

            CAT

Choz?

      

            OPOSSUM

CHOZ!!

 

            CAT

Could you spell that?

 

            OPOSSUM

Yeah, C-H-A-O-S. Choz.

 

The Cat tries to hold back a laugh, but he can’t do it very well because his hands are tied to the chair.

 

            OPOSSUM

How dare you make light of The Possum!

 

The Cat continues laughing…

 

            CAT

The word is chaos! C-H-A-O-S spells CHAOS!

 

            OPOSSUM

       (turning away)

Silence, infidel!

 

The Cat rolls his eyes.

 

            CAT

Okay, enough of this…

 

Because the Henchmen did such a poor job of tying him to a chair, The Cat easily slips out of the ropes. He stands up and goes into battle stance.

 

            OPOSSUM

Wh- How?

 

The Cat holds out up a handful of ROPE.

 

            CAT

You ought to teach your guys how to properly tie a knot.

 

            OPOSSUM

Possums, seize him!

 

A second clash ensues between The Cat and Opossum’s henchmen – again, stylized like a series of comic book panels. In the fight, The Cat manages to knock out two of the henchmen, while the third one TAKES OFF.

 

INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT

 

The third Opossum Henchman is BOOKING IT to the exit. All of the sudden, the DOOR flings open and KNOCKS HIM OUT cold.

 

With a FLOURISH of his HEROIC THEME, Super Hero steps in over the threshold, oblivious to the man he just took out with the door. At the finish of the THEME, Super Hero takes a hearty bite of a HAM SANDWICH and chews a moment.

 

EXT. PARKING LOT – NIGHT

 

A throng of reporters descends upon the parking lot of the studio, always a few steps behind Super Hero, taking in all his exploits.

 

INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT

 

Super Hero steps forward and almost trips over the Opossum Henchman. He looks down and notices the man.

 

            SUPER HERO

Oh, sorry…

 

Super Hero reaches down and tries to help the man up.

 

EXT. PARKING LOT – NIGHT

 

The reporters notice the action going on through the still-open door.

 

            REPORTER #6

LOOK! Super Hero caught the intruder!

 

Super Hero turns around and notices the reporters outside the door.

 

            SUPER HERO

Wha…?

       (back in “hero” mode)

Yes, I have caught the… disturbed individual trying to break into Bancroft Studios!

 

Cheers erupt from the assembled reporters.

 

 

INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT

 

The Cat, with the other two Henchmen in hand, heads down the hallway to see what the commotion is. He sees Super Hero holding up the third Henchman and posing for the reporters.

 

            CAT

Wha…?

 

The Cat continues down the hall until he suddenly hears, from the throng outdoors…

 

            REPORTER #12

HEY! There’s two more of them!

 

Super Hero turns to see The Cat with the other Henchmen and does a DOUBLE TAKE.

 

            SUPER HERO

       (quiet)

Who are you?

 

            CAT

       (whispers)

The Siamese Cat.

 

EXT. PARKING LOT – NIGHT

 

            REPORTER #8

Who’s your friend, Super Hero?

 

            SUPER HERO

I would like to take this chance to thank my friend, The Cheshire Cat for his valuable assistance in my apprehension of these criminals!

 

The Cat starts to correct Super Hero, but before he can get a word out, the Reporters begin asking QUESTIONS all at once and they mob toward the door.

 

INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT

 

The Cat hears a GASP and turns around to see The Opossum peering around the corner at the end of the hall. The Cat taps Super Hero on the shoulder, but the other do-gooder is too wrapped up in the media attention.

 

            OPOSSUM

Curse you Siamese Cat! I’m far from defeated, however!

 

And with that, The Opossum TAKES OFF in the other direction.

 

The Cat begins to head off in pursuit, but at the same instant, Super Hero GRABS THE CAT’S HAND and pulls him back for a triumphant “fists joined” photo-op.

 

The Cat meekly SMILES for the camera.

 

BLACKOUT.

 

END OF ACT ONE

 


 

ACT TWO

 

FADE IN:

 

We OPEN ON a full screen newspaper headline:

 

SUPER HERO THWARTS NOCTURNAL BANDITS

 

We PULL BACK from the newspaper and see it’s being held up by a NEWSBOY… you know, like in old movies where a kid is standing on the corner selling the special newspaper yelling…

 

       NEWSBOY

EXTRA! EXTRA! Read all about it! Super Hero thwarts nocturnal bandits!

 

As the Newsboy is HAWKING, Eric comes around the corner carrying a BROWN PAPER BAG of groceries (with one of those LOAVES OF FRENCH BREAD sticking out, just for good measure).

 

Eric stops and fishes in his pocket for a QUARTER, then hands it to the Newsboy, who hands back a NEWSPAPER.

 

INT. ERIC’S APARTMENT – DAY

 

Eric comes in through the front door, greeted by his cat.

 

Eric walks past his answering machine and presses the button.

 

            ANSWERING MACHINE

You. Have. One. Message.

 

Eric sets the bag of groceries down in the kitchen and unfolds the newspaper.

 

Meanwhile, the answering machine beeps and a familiar voice takes over.

 

            CAROL

Hi, Eric…

 

Eric looks at the newspaper headline, then glances down to the photo below the fold – Super Hero outside Bancroft Studios.

 

            CAROL

       (continued)

I hadn’t heard from you, so I thought I should call…

 

Eric picks up the newspaper and SQUINTS at the photo. On the extreme edge of the picture, you can see the hand of The Siamese Cat held up by Super Hero, but all other traces of the amateur hero have been eliminated.

 

Eric slumps in disappointment.

 

            CAROL

       (continued)

I wanted to make sure you were still taking me to Daddy’s party tonight…

 

Hearing this, Eric sits up straight in alert mode.

 

            CAROL

       (continued)

You have my number, give me a call, okay. Bye.

 

Eric SLAPS his forehead and heads for the phone. He DIALS a number and waits for the answer.

 

            ERIC

Carol? I’m sorry I didn’t call. I was at the library all morning…

       (pause)

Oh, I had to do some last minute research on marsupials.

       (pause)

Yeah, the animals with pouches… right. My cousin is doing a documentary.

       (pause)

Well, can I meet you at the studio, then?

       (pause)

Give me a half-hour, okay?

       (pause)

See you then, bye.

 

Eric quickly hangs up the phone and DASHES for the bedroom.

 

EXT. SIDEWALK – DUSK

 

Eric is HURRYING down the street, half-walking, half-running. He looks at his WATCH – he’s late.

 

EXT. STUDIO – DUSK

 

Eric approaches the back door to the studio, where we saw Super Hero burst in last night. As he comes around the corner, he passes a LADDER, but doesn’t pay much attention to it.

 

Just as he is about to open the door, however, he does a DOUBLE TAKE and turns around. Eric looks up and sees the end of a TAIL scurry away from the edge of the ROOF.

 

 

 

EXT. STUDIO ROOF – DUSK

 

Eric’s head pokes up over edge of the roof. He sees the Opossum and TWO NEW HENCHMEN setting up some PULLEY-LIKE GIZMO over the lobby skylight.

 

            ERIC

Oh, great. Not him again.

 

INT. LOCKER ROOM – NIGHT

 

Eric peeks in to see if anyone is here. Satisfied, he hurries to his locker with purpose. Opening the door, he reaches way in the back and removes a secret panel.

 

Behind the secret panel is a clothing bag. Eric removes the bag and unzips it to reveal a SPARE SIAMESE CAT SUIT.

 

INT. RESTROOM – NIGHT

 

The door opens slowly - at first we only see a hand. Next, Eric pokes his head around to case the room.

 

            ERIC

       (meekly)

Uh, hello…?

Anyone in there…?

 

Satisfied that the restroom is vacant, he darts for the stall, closing the door and locking it with a CLACK.

 

INT. STUDIO – NIGHT

 

There is a rather ornate PARTY going on, complete with cheezy easy-listening music and stuffy MEN IN SUITS noshing on mini quiches.

 

CAROL is waiting by the refreshment table with a cup of PUNCH. She looks around the room, then glances at her watch, looking worried.

 

INT. RESTROOM – NIGHT

 

A STOUT GENTLEMAN enters the restroom and heads for the sink to wash his hands.

 

Suddenly, The Siamese Cat bursts out of the bathroom stall, accompanied by HEROIC MUSIC FANFARE.

 

            STOUT GENTLEMAN

I didn’t know this was supposed to be a costume party.

 

 

 

EXT. STUDIO ROOF - NIGHT

 

The Cat hops off the top of the ladder onto the roof.

 

            CAT

       (standing up)

Hey, didn’t I tell you guys…

 

He stops in mid-sentence as he finally looks up, because…

 

                            CUT TO:

 

There’s nobody on the roof.

 

The Cat looks left and right. Seeing nobody around, he walks toward the skylight. He peers over the edge.

 

INT. LOBBY – NIGHT

 

From the skylight, we can see The Opossum and two henchmen descending into the lobby - head-first, very slowly - via cables attached to them like tails.

 

EXT. STUDIO ROOF – NIGHT

 

The Cat can’t believe what he’s seeing.

 

            CAT

Oh, boy.

 

INT. LOBBY – NIGHT

 

The Opossum and the henchmen continue descending into the room.

 

            OPOSSUM

Did you tug on my tail?

 

            HENCHMAN #1

No, no sir.

 

            OPOSSUM

Someone tugged on my tail.

       (to other henchman)

Was it you?

 

The other Henchman shakes his head, indicating he didn’t.

 

As the bickering threesome reach the ground, they FLIP upright and come face to face with The Siamese Cat.

 

            CAT

Boy, you really don’t do your homework, do you?

 

            OPOSSUM

What, I suppose you’re going to tell me that possums don’t hang upside down by their tails?

 

            CAT

Now that you mention it, they don’t. But I was referring to your waste of time coming in through the skylight when there are no guards at the back door.

 

            OPOSSUM

No matter! With Super Hero busy helping Bancroft fleece investors, nobody will notice me taking over the weather satellite.

 

            CAT

If you would just listen to m-

 

            OPOSSUM

Silence, feline opponent!

       (to henchmen)

Minions! Grab him!

 

The two henchmen grab The Cat’s arms, while The Opossum SCURRIES in the other direction, LAUGHING maniacally.

 

The Cat STRUGGLES a bit, but then a flash of inspiration comes over his face. He looks up at the skylight.

 

            CAT

Hey, isn’t that Super Hero up there?

 

Like the complete incompetents that they are, the two Henchmen fall for the oldest trick in the book and The Cat manages to BREAK FREE from their grip.

 

Another STORYBOARD FIGHT breaks out. After a few BLOWS back and forth, the two Henchmen come RUNNING at The Cat from different sides of the room.

 

The Cat looks left and right and then, at the last possible moment, JUMPS STRAIGHT UP, grabbing the ROPE that the henchmen used to descend into the lobby.

 

The Henchmen run SMACK into each other and fall to the ground, unconscious.

 

 

 

 

 

INT. METEOROLOGY DEPARTMENT – NIGHT

 

The Opossum is busy searching over the CONTROL PANELS looking for the switches he needs to complete his sinister plan. He is startled when the lights FLICKER on and he hears…

 

            CAT

If you would listen to me for just one minute, you would realize that weather satellites don’t control the weather! See how much time and trouble you would have saved if you would have just listened to me in the first place?

 

            OPOSSUM

This is a trick! You don’t have me yet!

 

And with that, the Opossum COLLAPSES to the ground.

 

INT. LOBBY – NIGHT

 

Super Hero is STROLLING through the lobby, WHISTLING innocently. He comes upon the two unconscious henchmen and the dangling ropes.

 

            SUPER HERO

Wha-ho?

 

INT. METEOROLOGY DEPARTMENT – NIGHT

 

The Cat heads over to where the Opossum was previously standing to see him LYING DOWN on his back with his FEET UP.

 

            CAT

Get up, you fool.

 

            OPOSSUM

I can’t hear you, I’m dead.

 

            CAT

You’re not dead, you’re just playing dead.

 

            OPOSSUM

I can’t hear you!

 

The Cat kicks him lightly in the side.

 

            CAT

Get up!

 

The Opossum says nothing.

 

            CAT

I’m gonna go find a phone.

 

INT. LOBBY – NIGHT

 

Super Hero has picked up the two Henchmen, one in each hand.

 

            SUPER HERO

I guess it’s true that you do only come out at night.

 

INT. METEOROLOGY DEPARTMENT – NIGHT

 

Super Hero enters, the two unconscious henchmen in tow.

 

            SUPER HERO

Evildoers, beware! Super Hero is here to protect the world!

 

INT. OFFICE – NIGHT

 

The Siamese Cat is on the phone.

 

            CAT

Hello? Yes, I need an officer at Bancroft Studios. Yes, a break-in…

 

The Cat looks over to a SECURITY MONITOR on the shelf next to the phone.

 

The Cat watches, slackjawed, as Super Hero enters the party in the studio dragging the Opossum and his two henchmen behind him.

 

            CAT

Wh- But… How?

 

The Cat stares on, speechless.

 

INT. STUDIO – NIGHT

 

Ken Bancroft, a well-groomed snazzy dresser with a dignified beard (and the owner of the studio), stands up and applauds. He heads over to Super Hero, playing the moment to the hilt.

 

            BANCROFT

Ladies and Gentlemen, the star of our show and our real-life protector, Super Hero!

 

The crowd applauds.

 

 

 

 

            BANCROFT

I’m sure all of you here this evening share my gratitude toward Mr. Hero, and I hope you will keep this moment foremost in your mind as you make out your checks at the end of the evening.

 

Bancroft offers his hand to Super Hero

 

            BANCROFT

Thank you, Super Hero for keeping our studio - and the entire town - safe from these riff-raff.

 

Super Hero frees his hands for a hearty handshake and the three criminals FLOP to the floor.

 

Bancroft looks down in disgust at the sloppy pile of costumed evildoers at his feet and turns to Carol.

 

            BANCROFT

Where’s that janitor?

 

BLACKOUT.

 

END OF ACT TWO

 


CODA

 

FADE IN:

 

Eric is in his apartment listening to his answering machine. We hear…

 

            CAROL (V.O.)

Eric, I know you’re there. I’m not mad at you, I just want to know what happened to you last night.

 

Eric is fixing his cat’s dinner.

 

            CAROL (V.O.)

       (continued)

Well, call me when you have a chance. Bye.

 

            ERIC

Hey, kitty.

 

He puts the bowl down and strokes the cat’s fur.

 

            ERIC

I’m in for it, aren’t I?

 

The cat purrs and rubs against the back of Eric’s hand.

 

            ERIC

       (continued)

Yeah, you know what it’s like, looking for attention. Well, someday we’ll be in the headlines, kitty. Someday.

 

We TILT UP and PAN along Eric’s kitchen counter. Then we hear a BEEPING SOUND as we come to rest on a CLOSE-UP of the Cat Scanner, flashing.

 

MUSIC SWELLS.

 

BLACKOUT.

 

END OF SHOW